


Old memories

by MARVEL295



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), philinda - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28647801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MARVEL295/pseuds/MARVEL295
Relationships: Phil Coulson & Melinda May
Kudos: 2





	Old memories

All the SHIELD agents in the meeting room were looking at the huge screen.

Someone had apparently managed to get hold of old SHIELD files, as there were suddenly countless images and sound recordings.

The two older agents just stood there perplexed and watched.

They saw pictures from their academy days, where they had danced together on their beds, studied together, skated together, eaten together or just laughed together. Other pictures showed them in countless clubs, together at their respective parents' houses, or holding up their SHIELD graduation certificates.

Things got more private where they both saw their wedding photos. Melinda's wedding had been simple on the whole, but her dress was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. That day, he had had to hold her hand until their wedding ceremony because she was so excited. Admittedly, she had only been so nervous because she had hoped he would tell her to let it be, that he loved her, because she had always loved him, from the beginning.

At his wedding photo, everything looked different again, he was so happy then that she feared his face would hurt from smiling, which also did the day after. This day was probably one of the happiest he ever had.

Right after these glimpses into their private lives came mission photos and recordings. It went from undercover missions, where they appeared as a married couple, to photos, where they ran away from bombs and heavily armed people. Only a few missions went into detail, e.g. their first mission where they both swam in San Francisco Bay, the undercover mission where they had to pretend to sleep together and finally the mission in Bahreim, which completely took away the Melinda he knew until then.

To put it all in a nutshell, they could both scream out loud now, as all these photos only opened up wounds that had long since healed. Coulson himself, after being reminded of the death of his entire family, was unable to say anything and just stood there stiffly. May was almost immediately pushed back to Bahreim and stood just as stiff and absent as he did.

After the screen finally went still again, all the other agents stared at the director and his fast-acting deputy.

May had already caught herself again after a few minutes, since she had actually finished with it, which is why she looked at him again. In his eyes she saw again all the sadness and guilt she never wanted to see again.

To put it briefly, what had happened back then was traumatizing and even if she couldn't admit it to herself, his fault. His job as a SHIELD agent had killed his entire family. They had not paid attention on a mission in Russia, which is why they went to his family from Rach. When they returned from the mission, his home was in flames, with his family inside. The Russians had barbecued his entire family alive and he was sitting on his knees on the floor, just watching, listening to them scream.

,,Phil?" she asked softly.

When he looked right at her, she almost shuddered. What she thought could never happen again was happening. A tear rolled down his cheek and he walked silently, not looking at anyone else.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Daisy as soon as he was out of earshot.

May swallowed. ,,You'll have to ask him yourself, I don't think I have the authority or permission," she said and quickly went after him.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

After 48 minutes of her lying on his bed, in his room, he finally came out of his bath, in a pleasant warm haze.

He dropped down next to her, but did not look at her.

"I'm sorry, I should have been able to handle it. I...", she was over him in a flash and kissed him on the mouth.

Before doing so, she thought he would push her away anyway, but he didn't, quite the opposite; he pulled her closer to him and pressed his hands firmly and decisively on her back until she broke away again.

After they stared at each other for a few seconds, he put his hands around her face and pushed her up so that she was sitting on his lap and he could kiss her perfectly.

He kissed her lightly and gently, as if he was afraid she might break in his arms. While he put his hands around her back and in her hair, she put hers on his bare chest. After all, it wasn't as if they had never seen each other naked before.

When he broke the kiss, they looked at each other again.

When he broke the kiss, they looked at each other again.

,, I love you, Melinda May. I don't care who you are today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, just please don't push me away now. If you don't love me or don't want a relationship, that's OK. We can also forget about this and just go back to..." her lips were on his again.

If she could choose it from now on, kissing him would definitely become her favorite way to make him shut up.

,,I love you too, you noble fool. If you don't learn to shut up soon, I'll have to keep kissing you," he smiled.

"Nice to know, I'll make a note of that. I just want you to know that my feelings for you are not related to the outside," he gestured to his door. "Frankly, I fell in love with you when we were in Rio for New Year. Or at least, I didn't realize how much you meant to me until that day. I couldn't bear to lose you," he said, burying his head under her breast.

,,I don't want to die so soon, not when things are just getting good," she said, stroking his head and neck. ,,Now that we have that settled, I think we should go back to the others. Knowing Daisy, she's already cracked our extra secure file for Fury anyway," but as she stood up herself she only caught a pout from Coulson.

"Phil, get dressed. Maybe you'll get to undress me tonight," she said, watching a wicked grin grow on his face.

,,Deal," he said, and she had never seen a man get dressed so quickly.


End file.
